Hallelujah!

Humorous Humbuggery

Much has changed since last year. Don we no longer winter apparel. Instead, Adam had on shorts and sandals on December one. This seems wrong to me. Both of us really miss the Cleveland snowfalls and *shock* the chill of winter. Though I think it has more to do with the ideal of Christmas. Songs like Frosty the Snowman, Let it Snow, and Dashing Through the ...SNOW. As a kid I earnestly prayed for a white Christmas every year. I remember hoping with all my heart to wake up at grandma's, look outside and see snow. Even a few measly flakes felt like a Christmas Miracle tantamount to George Bailey realizing he wants to live. So when it's 70 degrees, sunny and desert-scape out my window...it makes me a bit dejected. But it may also have something to do with our tree this year:

Not so hot compared with last year's nugget of festive cheer:

Or the year before that:

Okay...so MAYBE we haven't decided if that crazy hook and wire thingy and festive potholder will be the extent of our holiday decor. Who knows? I might get all inspired and put some ornaments on it. That would be terrific!

Makin' a List

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? both
2. Real tree or Artificial? real tree
3. When do you put up the tree? usually right after thanksgiving
4. When do you take the tree down? first week of january
5. Do you like eggnog? yes
6. Favorite gift received as a child? aunt marcia put a note in all the kids stocking saying she would take all of us (cousins) to see Beauty and the Beast
7. Hardest person to buy for? my father-in-law or sister
8. Easiest person to buy for? my dad
9. Do you have a nativity scene? yes
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? mail
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Whatever I got from Mollie last year
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? toss up between White Christmas and It's A Wonderful Life
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? sometimes november...sometimes much later
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? ummm...no
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? persimmon pudding and christmas cookies
16. Lights on the tree? YES white or colorful
17. Favorite Christmas song? Carpenter's Christmas Collection is one of my favorites but I like all the classic Christmas songs and usually none of the new remakes
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? TRAVEL
19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer’s? You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and... (YES!)
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? either
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? both
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? being in Phoenix
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? vintage...hallmark...tacky...homespun...i love 'em all
24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? mashed taters
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? a blank check
26. Who is most likely to respond to this? those who like to answer questions
27. Will you bake any cookies? GINGERBREAD AND MANY MORE!!!!!

Doggone it!

Mollie cocked her head eight times as if to say, "What the heck???"----of course what dog wouldn't be confused if they heard their person's voice emanating from the laptop, "Help! Mollie! I'm trapped in the computer!!!!" All said in high-pitched puppy langage of course. Hehehe. That's why they call me BK. This picture is from two years ago. (eeek...how time flies!) Mollie is so embarrassed. Mortified really. She loves presents. So does Zeek. Especially shiny pink ones. This is Zeek:

Don't let that innocent face fool you...he steals presents and bread sticks. Kind of like the Grinch but less grouchy. In fact, I don't think he is ever grumpy. Unless you try to catch him when he escapes---then he bites. But not if you bring him a "cookie". So I guess you could say he's more like the cookie monster. This is Dash:

He likes to eat babies. Not really. But he was quite intrigued by this little gal. So there you have it. The dogs in my life. And I can't wait to come home and see them all! :-)

Good Morning AZ!

Happy Holidays! A few of us from the Phoenix Symphony Chorus and Phoenix Girl's Choir met up this morning to sing for Good Morning AZ. We sang "Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas" and "We Need A Little Christmas"---fun! Though it is difficult to feel Christmas-y when it is 70 degrees and sunny. Poor Phoenix! So beautiful and sunny all the time. Just terrible! Reminds me of this bit by Triumph. Oh and if you want to hear our little gig just click.

Performance Week

Our Fill

While we enjoyed a fabulous dinner with new found friends and family on the actual holiday...there was something missing. Leftovers. No cold turkey to sprinkle salt on, no extra rolls or pie for later. A Thanksgiving tragedy! So cue Saturday. Making something special. First time cooking "the bird" without mom and dad. Trying to summon the flavor of home. But it didn't work-----still something lacking...YOU.

In My Inbox

FRIENDLY REMINDER:

When you created your blog, you signed the spiritual commitment form and agreed to make sure that you would provide interesting, anecdotal, brain verbage to entertain, enlighten and delight your audience. This notice is to inform you that this contract is binding and constipating and will be enforced as stated by the "I.B.O.P.I." (Intrunet Blog Operational Procedures Institute)

Your blog entries are now 16 days past due. (Nov 7th + 7 day grace period +16 days = Nov. 30th)Your last entry to your blog was November 7th, which is 23 days ago. Please take the time to rectify this situation immediately so that your viewers will cease to suffer any longer.

If your blog goes without a new entry 24 days, the next reminder will not be friendly. Also, I need to point out that you are now in a double-fault situation. A double-fault incident happens when the extended days of non-entry include a major holiday. Since this is your first offense, we will be friendly and suspend the $1000 fine and only charge $500. (The standard fine is $500 when a holiday is not present.)

Entry however must be made within the next 24 hours.

FINE PRINT:(No loop holes exist in this contract so you can't get out of it.--nah-nah)

Thank you for your consideration.

BLOGGER REVIEW BRAWD

Trippin

Sign me up. I would love to take this little eco-friendly bumble bee rv-ing across America...or Canada...or anywhere the wind blows or sun shines. Available next summer, this Green RV with a starting price of 129,000 isn't for the light of pocketbook (which could mean most of America the way things are looking). And you probably wouldn't want to pack more than...well I'd say...two people...or three--including yourself-- unless you want to encourage domestic violence or road rage. Wow this post really turned pessimistic. On second look, screw this tiny, eco-touristing, pseudo-hippie Volkswagen.

Kitty Caucus

Slow news day? Latest News section on CNN reads, "iReport.com: cats vote in 'kitty caucus.'" WHAT? I had to click on it. Had to. Now, this is the type of headline you would expect to encounter on The Onion, but not CNN. Apparently, a gaggle of kitties will be "casting votes" or "pooping" until election day for their favorite candidate in respective blue and red litter boxes. Blue for Obama (of course) and Red for McCain. On November 4th the fecal matter will be tabulated, and whoever has the most poops wins. Are we sure that these kitties aren't actually registered voters? I mean, with all the recent accusations against ACORN...how can we be sure? And another thing...we may want to consider this process for our own election. It really would get to the heart of the current mood of the country, everything right now just plain stinks. The winner truly will be the one with the most shit to deal with.

Confirming My Paranoia

Just a few minutes ago Adam sent this story my way with subject, "I thought you should see this story." Now, considering my recent paranoia about mountain lion's eating my head when hiking in the Arizona desert you might wonder why a story confirming my worst fears would be a good idea. The report titled, "Mountain lion that stalked Ariz. hiker killed," told of a hiker who in spite of wielding a gun, man's best friend and boots with jeans no doubt (boots and jeans are my own conjuring) found himself the stalked prey of a vicious mountain lion. This case had authorities concerned, "U.S. Forest Service officials found the incident troubling because the lion showed no fear of humans. 'It was not acting in a way that normal mountain lions act,' Schewel said, adding that it was "an obvious threat to human safety." No fear of humans! Obviously this guy did not have the Incredible Gun-Wielding Snake-Distracting Duo of Berry and Son but with such a cantankerous kitty I doubt it would have mattered.

LOL... banana?

Huh? Right...the old slip on the banana peel bit gets me LOLing every time! But what really gets me ROTFL is this joke:

Knock, knock

Who's there?

Banana

Banana who?

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Banana

Banana who? (repeat to annoy)

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

ORANGE

Orange who?

ORANGE ya' glad I didn't say BANANA!!!!

Our First Scorpion

Friday, October 17th
A Message Home:

YO! or HOLA! or CIAO! or HI THERE! Hope you have had a good week. Saw our first scorpion last night. Luckily it was OUTSIDE. We were taking a short walk to check the mail and I noticed it on the sidewalk. Fairly good sized fellow. Which I suppose means less dangerous?!? Anyway...we scardy cats took the other side of the sidewalk when we walked back. Kind of freaked us both out. When we went on a "hike" last weekend there were signs posted that said CAUTION!!! SNAKES ARE OUT!!!! and then had a cartoon picture of a rattlesnake. Uhhh...Adam...I'm not too sure about this. Without the company of Austin the expert marksman and John the snake distracter I really don't feel all that safe in the desert. Adam said...well next time we can wear jeans. And bring a gun and wear boots---I said. So yeah...I don't think I am quite cut out for this rough landscape. I was also scared that a mountain lion would pounce on us at any moment and eat our heads. Advice? :-)

Response:

I would imagine that you were far more likely to fall down a set of slippery, frozen metal stairs to your death in an attempt to wash your underwear in Cleveland than you are likely to have your head eaten by a mountain lion. On the other hand, wear jeans and cover your toes when hiking in the desert. At the very least shorts with boots. We'll talk to you later.

Methinks it might have been this type.

Downtown

The lights are much brighter there

You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares

So go downtown, things'll be great when you're

Downtown - no finer place, for sure

Downtown - everything's waiting for you

Same, though new

Autumn in the desert

Fall without changing leaves

A brief chill in the heat

Scent of cinnamon, burning wood

Fragrance of season

Same, though new

iCovet

Some people are just jealous.

As Opposed to "Eastward Tramp"

The name above is a bit of a misnomer for today's activity. We didn't head west (we went east) and we didn't observe any hos (although I can't say that with 100% certainty). We did, however, go to the Phoenix Public Market downtown which was adjacent to this wonderfully named building. We'd heard about this place a couple of weeks ago, and it sounded pretty interesting. It was presented to us as a "farmer's market" where you could go and find some fruits, vegetables, herbs, etc. You know, farmer stuff.

I think it's safe to say we were a bit underwhelmed. The few stands that were selling fresh produce were easily outweighed by stands selling tea infused with catnip (not kidding) or scarves made of dog hair (kidding). We meandered for a little bit and then headed out to parts unknown.

It is absolutely gorgeous here today--75 and sunny with a lot of wind. It should be the same way tomorrow, so we're trying to formulate a plan involving outside activity. We'll let you know what we come up with.

As Tigger would say: "TTFN!"

40 Days

Finishing The Brothers Karamazov a couple weeks ago I needed a bit of levity...so true-to-form I decided to embark on a 40 day spiritual quest with The Purpose Driven Life. It arrived in a shipment of four banker's boxes, the remnants of our book collection sent expeditiously by Adam's mom a few weeks after we left for AZ. Think it must have been a present from Aunt Linda many Christmases ago. I know I meant to read it, but never did, and now find myself terribly behind the many who have. How many books end up this way? On our list of wanted to, meant to, started to...forgot about. Never too late to discover, "What on Earth am I here for?" Though I think I already know...which could be the reason that I never felt the urgent need to read it.

In the first few pages, you discover that Rick Warren---the author--- wants you to commit to reading a section everyday. Instead of speeding through, he wishes the reader to reflect on every chapter. All in all, a total of 40, adding up to a period of 40 days. Using 40 days, he mirrors a time frame that God also finds significant. Warren gives a few examples:

Noah's life was transformed by 40 days of rain.

Moses was transformed by 40 days on Mount Sinai

David was transformed by Goliath's 40-day challenge.

Elijah was transformed when God gave him 40 days of strength from a single meal

The entire city of Nineveh was transformed when God gave the people 40 days to change.

Jesus was empowered by 40 days in the wilderness.

The disciples were transformed by 40 days with Jesus after his resurrection.

I did not realize that this would be the format of the book. So far, I like this perspective. At the end of each brief chapter he gives, "A Point to Ponder, A Verse To Remember and A Question to Consider." Last night the quest began. Since so many have already read this book I kind of feel like Jim Gaffigan joking about wanting to talk about a movie that came out years ago:

"Hey! I just saw Heat!"

"What? I saw that movie 10 years ago."

"I wanna talk about it now."

"No! Get away from me weirdo!"

Because...I know I will probably want to talk about it.

Simple Math

We here at AZPHALT would like to point out an error. On Monday, September 29th we posted the contents of a forwarded email (first mistake) that suggested an alternative to the big AIG bailout. Apparently...the math was bogus! BOGUS I TELL YOU! According to our friendly, resident fact checker---Uncle Dave--- we can now rest easy. Take a look at the truth:

One of the articles posted on your blog said that US citizens should get the 85 billion instead of AIG, which would then give 200 million Americans $425,000 each. However, in the interest of accuracy, it must be noted that 85 billion divided by 200 million is only $425.00. Wishful thinking, but please note that one billion is (in the USA anyway) one thousand million, or 1,000,000,000, or 10 to the 9th power. Just thought I would pass this along. Actually it would take 85 trillion divided by 200 million to get $425,000.

Remember...if you see anything you would like to comment on or expose. Send it along. You know where to find us.

Lovebirds

Saw this in a clever shop in Sedona's Tlaquepaque. Adorned with stylized blue forget-me-nots, reddish berries, green leaves and vines----this metal mirror overflows sentiment. At the top sits my favorite detail, a pair of white lovebirds nesting. Maybe they need to make their way to my little nest. I have the perfect spot!

No Doubt

Great company, great food, great wine. Tonight Adam and I finished off the last little bit of an excellent bottle of Roogle Riesling that Nola and Kyle shared last Friday night. It made me do a bit of reminiscing. In Cleveland we had the privilege of having our friends about a block away and would switch off having each other over for dinner, lunch, breakfast...rain parties. Last Friday night, we made tacos. Chopped the garlic and lettuce, prepared the avocados, poured the salsa, cooked the meat, warmed the beans and rice. Kyle even freshly fried corn tortillas. Just like the good old days--- except we no longer live within walking distance. Funny how fast things change. As our friends left for La la land...we promised to see each other soon. No doubt.

Texas Nanner Puddin'

Well...well...well...Mur really outdid herself this time. Adam came home to a Chicken Pie and some Nanner Puddin'. Oh boy was it good. Though I believe he hasn't even tasted the dessert yet-----had to take a break after filling up on the main course. Now that's comfort food! Yum!

For MOI? Merci!

What LOVELY flowers...what THOUGHTFUL family and friends. THANKS EVERYONE! You certainly know how to make a girl smile. Adam, Kyle and Nola said they liked the chorus best...but I think they are a bit biased. Nola made sure to save a program for me...we threw it in the photo for posterity. Thanks UBER!

Nuts For Everyone

A friend sent this my way. I hear his platform is, "Nuts for everyone!" Haha. Funny thing is...the other guy is spouting the same thing. How embarrassing!

Der Herr ist gross

No...not GROSS! Like ewwwwwwwwwwwww. BUT GROSS...as in GREAT! Don't worry about the German this time, the chorus will be singing The Creation in English. Haydn preferred it this way for English-speaking audiences (makes sense). Tomorrow marks the first performance of the season. Visit the Phoenix Symphony for a short video preview.

All Those In Favor Say...

Annnnnnnnd the AYES have it!!!!! ----"We Deserve It Dividend" passes with overwhelming support. Now somebody get this guy a beer or something. Heck...I'm guessing he'll never have to pay for another drink in his life:

Hi Pals,

I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.

Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend.

To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+.

Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child.

So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up... So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00.

My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free.

So let's assume a tax rate of 30%.

Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.

That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.

A husband and wife team has $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?

Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved.

Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads

Put away money for college - it'll be there

Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs.

Buy a new car - create jobs

Invest in the market - capital drives growth

Pay for your parent's medical insurance - health care improves

Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back to include those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ("vote buy") economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.

If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG - liquidate it.

Sell off its parts.

Let American General go back to being American General.

Sell off the real estate.

Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here's my rationale.

We deserve it and AIG doesn't.

Sure it's a crazy idea that can "never work."

But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!

How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We Deserve It Dividend more than do the geniuses at A IG or in Washington DC.

And remember, The Birk plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh...I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

Kindest personal regards,

Birk

T. J. Birkenmeier, A Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic

PS: Feel free to pass this along to your pals as it's either good for a laugh or a tear or a very sobering thought on how to best use $85 Billion!!

I Recommend the "Betty Boop"

Today was glorious. Kendra and I headed out around 11am and made our way downtown. Why downtown? Because on the corner of S. Central and Yuma lies a little place called Lo-Lo's Chicken and Waffles (see blog post below). I had been wanting to try this place for a couple of weeks, but never got up the fortitude to drive downtown on the weekend. Man have I been missing out!

Lo-Lo's is a tiny, ramshackle building nestled between Yuma St. and an empty, scary looking lot. There's an elementary school near-by, which keeps things from looking completely desolate. But we're pretty much talking the barrio here--people walking aimlessly in the middle of the street, kids riding bikes while dragging their pit bulls behind them, etc. ATMOSPHERE.

The place was packed. We found a two-person table near the kitchen and ordered some sweet tea. Scratch that. We ordered syrup...in mason jars. It was delicious and nauseating at the same time. There's a lot on the menu but it's pretty simple: you can get a waffle (or two) with some variation of chicken parts. I settled on the "Betty Boop"--a chicken breast and waffle. Kendra got the "CJ's"--a waffle, egg, grits. Oh, and we also demanded a side of the fried okra. A SPREAD.

As we waited for our food, we took a good look around. The bare-bones interior is painted yellow with pictures of black entertainers and athletes covering every inch of the wall. It smelled of greens and fried things. It made me even hungrier than I was when I walked in.

When our food arrived, it looked amazing. The waffles are flat and sort of on the crispy side. I immediately spread the butter around and lathered it with maple syrup. With the waffle prepared, I tore off a piece of the chicken breast with my fork and popped it in my mouth. DELICIOUS. This is not KFC chicken. Not Cracker Barrel, Lee's, or Chik-fil-A chicken. This is SOUTHERN FRIED CHICKEN. With the syrup sufficiently infused into the waffle, I took a bite. Best waffle I've ever had (although Kendra said she likes her waffles fluffier). I've never combined the sweetness of waffle with the salty/friedness of chicken, but it really works.

As we left, Kendra and I decided to make this a tradition. We haven't quite settled on how often this tradition shall be observed (every decade would be the safest). We're thinking the last Saturday of every month. Keep that in mind when you're planning your visits.

Take Your Own Advice

Considering what has happened to WaMu in the past couple days...I find what came in the mail today a tad ironic.

Nothing Unusual

There is nothing unusual about either of them. She asks him if he ever notices how the future seems far away and then it happens before you know it. He knows that feeling and always can't believe it. Can you believe that in a few months we will be somewhere else? They look each other in the eye and don't believe it. She tells him it will be here before they know it. And it was, and they couldn't believe it.

Our Rich Uncle

My first reaction to the 700 billion bailout plan was anger. Why should the American people become responsible for the mismanagement, carelessness and downright criminal behavior of private financial entities? Especially when we all know very well how much mercy is shown to those who cannot keep up with the payments of sub-prime mortgages (or any loan for that matter). "Oh certainly Mr. Smith! Just pay when you can! We here at AnyBank understand the hardships you are facing with the climbing interest rates, your recent unemployment, etc., and are willing to work with you until you can pay." Huh? Not a chance! More like, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out! Nothing personal, just business!" Understanding how unmerciful institutions are to those who cannot pay, it makes my blood-boil to think that the guilty get the bailout. Don't underestimate my understanding of the MANY MANY factors that have contributed to this disaster. It isn't that I am naive in thinking that all consumers are guiltless-----or that all members of the large corporations are GUILTY. But what does make me pause, is the mercy shown to large corporations by the government and the absence of mercy that is given to consumers by the corporations themselves. Unfortunately for many Americans, our rich uncle---Uncle Sam seems only willing to cut the check for large corporations in trouble. Don't get me wrong. I don't believe the government is responsible for paying my debt, I just think if the offer is on the table and is going to happen anyway---maybe it would be better to also consider and help those who really deserve it. Hopefully they will not be forgotten.

Take a look at Glenn Beck's recent commentary on the crisis. He really pinpoints many of my feelings on the issue. Though reading what I just wrote, you might find my choice of agreement a bit mismatched.

Thanks Ten-Million

Put your thinking caps on---and do it quickly. Google is offering up to 10 million dollars for ideas. Project 10^100's slogan says it all, "May those who help the most win." Summon all your altruistic thoughts and add a flash of genius. So what are you waiting for? Benefit humankind! Submission deadline is October 20, 2008!

Check out the story on CNN.

There Is No Arizona

Yesterday, on the way home from work, A heard what he thought should be my theme song. When home, he played it for me on Youtube. Take a listen and then let me know if I SHOULD BE WORRIED?!?

And there was LIGHT

Meet At the Quarterback

Today's Vikings/Colts game marks one of those rare occasions when you like both teams that take the field. My family has always had a strange allegiance to the Vikings. A following that makes absolutely zero sense considering not one member hails from anywhere near Minnesota. As a teenager growing up in tiny Fairmount, Indiana, my dad and his best bud John took an interest in the Vikes during the era of the Purple People Eaters. A time where the motto of the Vikings defensive line was, "meet at the quarterback." Even after the excitement cooled, my dad and his friend still remained fans.

Most of my dad's family still lives in Indiana, slightly north of Indianapolis. While they still rank the Vikings first, they can't help but root for the home team. No matter if that home team has only been home since relocating from Baltimore in 1984. Who can blame them? (or me...I sure love my Peyton) Cheering more than one team isn't a problem for the most part. Unless they play each other, like today, and then you have to deal with your competing loyalties. So who wins out? The hometown heroes or the first adopted team? Really? COME ON!!! GO VIKINGS!!!!!

A Small Detail

It had to have been him because this story confirms a detail I noticed. The SUV that LW got into had a Yale sticker on the back of it. And this concludes Celebrity Saturday!!!!! Ha.

Celebrity Sighting

Totally saw Luke Wilson at Starbucks today----either that or someone who looks exactly like him. We went in about noon, he ordered right before us and was waiting for his drink. A didn't even notice him----- he said WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?!? Well, I said...at first I wasn't sure it was him and then once I thought it was, you were too far away to alert without being shamefully obvious. Once LW (ridiculously handsome b t w) exited, both baristas were in a stir. Don't you think it was him...no...could it have been? Really? You think so? I mean it looked just like him! Then I decided to chime in...are you guys talking about the guy that just left. I definitely think it was him. Another guy who had been sitting by the entrance of the store hopped up and said YEAH it was him. Funny thing was that while we were all in an uproar over whether it was or wasn't HIM...there was a tall blonde who just came out of the ladies room and stood waiting quietly for her drink. She heard us all speculating and as A and I left and walked to our car, we saw the same pretty blonde get in the car with LW. Now I kind of regret being worried about politeness and respecting his privacy. I'd like to think our interaction might have gone something like this:

I catch his attention and mouth, "Are you Luke Wilson?"

And then he would silently confirm.

Then I would smile and say, "COOL."

That would be it. No autograph, no picture, no hysteria. Just me confirming what I already thought. Maybe it would have been worth the risk?

Open House

Dust storm

Approximately 5:45 pm: A monster dust cloud barrels through the area and within minutes the mountains are completely indiscernible. See it devour Phoenix here.

My Sea-Side Properties In AZ: Let me shows you them

You know what's really annoying? Political chain letters. You know the ones: Obama is a Muslim and has actually trained terrorists. McCain has 9 houses, 8 of which he uses as drophouses for illegal aliens. Usually, you get these, read a few lines, roll your eyes and then hit delete as fast as you can. But every once in awhile, one catches you in a "mood." Usually this mood is boredom. So, you read it. And worse, you start thinking about it. And EVEN worse, you let it effect you so much that you decide to write a response. Not to any REAL person, but to your imaginary debating buddy--you know, the other half of yourself that you debate when no one's watching or listening. Well, this all happened to me today when K forwarded me this email she had received from an anonymous source:

"Friends, compatriots, fellow-lamenters,


We are writing to you because of the fury and dread we have felt since the announcement of Sarah Palin as the Vice-Presidential candidate for the Republican Party. We believe that this terrible decision has surpassed mere partisanship; that it is a dangerous farce on the part of a pandering and rudderless Presidential candidate and that nonetheless, it has a real possibility of becoming fact.

Perhaps like us, as American women, you share the fear of what Ms. Palin and her professed beliefs and proven record could lead to for ourselves and for our present or future daughters. To date, she is against sex education, birth control, the pro-choice platform, environmental protection, alternative energy development, freedom of speech (as mayor she wanted to ban books and attempted to fire the librarian who stood against her), gun control, the separation of church and state, and polar bears.

That says nothing about her unpreparedness to become the second-most-powerful person on the planet. We want to clarify that we are not against Sarah Palin as a woman, a mother, or, for that matter, a parent of a pregnant teenager, but solely as a rash, incompetent, and altogether devastating choice for Vice President. Ms. Palin's political views are a slap in the face to the accomplishments so fiercely fought for and from which we've so demonstrably benefited from.

Most important, Ms. Palin does not represent us. She neither expresses nor upholds our interests as American women. It is presumed that the inclusion of a woman on the Republican ticket could win over women voters. We disagree emphatically and publicly."

Here is my response (my debating buddy was TOTALLY blown away)

First, this letter is offensive because it attempts to categorize women into a single homogeneous unit. It attacks Palin because she is *gasp* a conservative woman. Because all REAL women are pro-choice, a pro-life woman is automatically a traitor and should be kicked from the flock. Instead of “Condi’s not my sister,” we have “Palin’s not my girlfriend.” Had McCain picked a male VP candidate with the exact same views (read: conservative), this letter would have never been written. This leads to the ultimate conclusion that Palin is being attacked not because she is conservative, but merely because she is a woman. The fact that the attack is made on behalf of a small group of self-appointed “womankind” delegates does not make it any less offensive. Indeed, you CAN put lipstick on a pig.

Second, much like the “Obama is a muslim” rumors, this letter attempts to spread lies and half-truths. And sadly, there’s no real need to point out the inconsistencies. Why? Because 1) the authors of the letter already know they’re spouting lies and half-truths and 2) the people who are ignorant enough to believe what they’re fed are not worth convincing anyway. However, since we’re already here, I might as well point out at least one inconsistency: Palin isn’t opposed to polar bears, she’s opposed to polar bear CUBS. Tell your neighbor.

AND NOW, FOR YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN:

Rank Up

Of all the things our new apartment has to offer, this just might be my favorite. Not that I am some kind of obsessive cleaner (though I do like a tidy place) but having my own washer and dryer sure makes life a little easier. No longer must I worry over quarters, brave the elements, compete to clean, or tote my laundry up and down several flights of stairs. Yes, I have joined the ranks of those who can claim in-house convenience------and I must say...I'm lovin' it.

Would Lolo eat at Lo-Lo's?

I hear all the time that "no one is from Arizona, they all just move here." Which at first I took to be slightly derogatory. As if Arizona, too barren or dull to generate life of its own, must rely on adventurers from other, more fertile, lands. As if the populace has no collective experience, just a mish-mash of individual ones.

But then I realized something today as I overheard a few people talking in the office about their favorite Phoenix restaurants. Maybe Phoenix IS just a mish-mash of individuals, but my-oh-my what they all bring to the table! As I eavesdropped on their conversations, I learned where to get the BEST Mexican ("Dick's Hideaway--literally HIDDEN down an alley with no sign and covered completely in ivy), the BEST hamburger ("Big Earl's" in Cave Creek, right off the exit), an--get this--the BEST chicken and waffles. That's right! A chicken-and-waffles joint in Phoenix, Arizona. Did I miss something, or does the Mason-Dixon line make an impromptu gerrymander through Arizona somewhere?

So, without further ado, I give you Lo-Lo's Chicken and Waffles: http://www.loloschickenandwaffles.com/

I'm pretty sure there's no relation to this guy:

Although, if anybody can make a scrumptious chicken-and-waffle platter, it's Lolo (that golden key opens the waffle batter treasure chest, but watch out for those flying eyeballs--swwwwuuussssssh!).

So this is basically a very long way of saying: maybe nobody is originally from Arizona, but maybe that's a blessing. Because when I can hold a drumstick in one hand and a waffle in another, screw collective experience.

Virga, Virga, Virga

Monday morning saw some ominous cloud-cover over Phoenix, and a repeated mention of something called "virga" in the atmosphere. Virga, according to peppy meteorologist Kaley O'Kelley, is rain that evaporates before it hits the ground. Maybe that was mostly the case throughout the city, but on our side of town the droplets hit. It was just enough to spoil A's plans to walk to the bus stop. As luck would have it, we left all our umbrellas in Ohio.

Fire On The Mountain

No, this is not Hades raining fire on the mountain (although it was hot enough). This is a sunset over the White Tank Mountains as seen from our modest patio. Would have been an even better picture without the powerlines, but I guess electricity is a necessity--how else would they power the fifty-billion Starbucks in the area?