All Those In Favor Say...

Annnnnnnnd the AYES have it!!!!! ----"We Deserve It Dividend" passes with overwhelming support. Now somebody get this guy a beer or something. Heck...I'm guessing he'll never have to pay for another drink in his life:

Hi Pals,

I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.

Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend.

To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+.

Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child.

So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up... So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00.

My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free.

So let's assume a tax rate of 30%.

Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.

That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.

A husband and wife team has $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?

Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved.

Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads

Put away money for college - it'll be there

Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs.

Buy a new car - create jobs

Invest in the market - capital drives growth

Pay for your parent's medical insurance - health care improves

Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back to include those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ("vote buy") economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.

If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG - liquidate it.

Sell off its parts.

Let American General go back to being American General.

Sell off the real estate.

Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here's my rationale.

We deserve it and AIG doesn't.

Sure it's a crazy idea that can "never work."

But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!

How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We Deserve It Dividend more than do the geniuses at A IG or in Washington DC.

And remember, The Birk plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh...I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

Kindest personal regards,

Birk

T. J. Birkenmeier, A Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic

PS: Feel free to pass this along to your pals as it's either good for a laugh or a tear or a very sobering thought on how to best use $85 Billion!!

I Recommend the "Betty Boop"

Today was glorious. Kendra and I headed out around 11am and made our way downtown. Why downtown? Because on the corner of S. Central and Yuma lies a little place called Lo-Lo's Chicken and Waffles (see blog post below). I had been wanting to try this place for a couple of weeks, but never got up the fortitude to drive downtown on the weekend. Man have I been missing out!

Lo-Lo's is a tiny, ramshackle building nestled between Yuma St. and an empty, scary looking lot. There's an elementary school near-by, which keeps things from looking completely desolate. But we're pretty much talking the barrio here--people walking aimlessly in the middle of the street, kids riding bikes while dragging their pit bulls behind them, etc. ATMOSPHERE.

The place was packed. We found a two-person table near the kitchen and ordered some sweet tea. Scratch that. We ordered syrup...in mason jars. It was delicious and nauseating at the same time. There's a lot on the menu but it's pretty simple: you can get a waffle (or two) with some variation of chicken parts. I settled on the "Betty Boop"--a chicken breast and waffle. Kendra got the "CJ's"--a waffle, egg, grits. Oh, and we also demanded a side of the fried okra. A SPREAD.

As we waited for our food, we took a good look around. The bare-bones interior is painted yellow with pictures of black entertainers and athletes covering every inch of the wall. It smelled of greens and fried things. It made me even hungrier than I was when I walked in.

When our food arrived, it looked amazing. The waffles are flat and sort of on the crispy side. I immediately spread the butter around and lathered it with maple syrup. With the waffle prepared, I tore off a piece of the chicken breast with my fork and popped it in my mouth. DELICIOUS. This is not KFC chicken. Not Cracker Barrel, Lee's, or Chik-fil-A chicken. This is SOUTHERN FRIED CHICKEN. With the syrup sufficiently infused into the waffle, I took a bite. Best waffle I've ever had (although Kendra said she likes her waffles fluffier). I've never combined the sweetness of waffle with the salty/friedness of chicken, but it really works.

As we left, Kendra and I decided to make this a tradition. We haven't quite settled on how often this tradition shall be observed (every decade would be the safest). We're thinking the last Saturday of every month. Keep that in mind when you're planning your visits.

Take Your Own Advice

Considering what has happened to WaMu in the past couple days...I find what came in the mail today a tad ironic.

Nothing Unusual

There is nothing unusual about either of them. She asks him if he ever notices how the future seems far away and then it happens before you know it. He knows that feeling and always can't believe it. Can you believe that in a few months we will be somewhere else? They look each other in the eye and don't believe it. She tells him it will be here before they know it. And it was, and they couldn't believe it.

Our Rich Uncle

My first reaction to the 700 billion bailout plan was anger. Why should the American people become responsible for the mismanagement, carelessness and downright criminal behavior of private financial entities? Especially when we all know very well how much mercy is shown to those who cannot keep up with the payments of sub-prime mortgages (or any loan for that matter). "Oh certainly Mr. Smith! Just pay when you can! We here at AnyBank understand the hardships you are facing with the climbing interest rates, your recent unemployment, etc., and are willing to work with you until you can pay." Huh? Not a chance! More like, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out! Nothing personal, just business!" Understanding how unmerciful institutions are to those who cannot pay, it makes my blood-boil to think that the guilty get the bailout. Don't underestimate my understanding of the MANY MANY factors that have contributed to this disaster. It isn't that I am naive in thinking that all consumers are guiltless-----or that all members of the large corporations are GUILTY. But what does make me pause, is the mercy shown to large corporations by the government and the absence of mercy that is given to consumers by the corporations themselves. Unfortunately for many Americans, our rich uncle---Uncle Sam seems only willing to cut the check for large corporations in trouble. Don't get me wrong. I don't believe the government is responsible for paying my debt, I just think if the offer is on the table and is going to happen anyway---maybe it would be better to also consider and help those who really deserve it. Hopefully they will not be forgotten.

Take a look at Glenn Beck's recent commentary on the crisis. He really pinpoints many of my feelings on the issue. Though reading what I just wrote, you might find my choice of agreement a bit mismatched.

Thanks Ten-Million

Put your thinking caps on---and do it quickly. Google is offering up to 10 million dollars for ideas. Project 10^100's slogan says it all, "May those who help the most win." Summon all your altruistic thoughts and add a flash of genius. So what are you waiting for? Benefit humankind! Submission deadline is October 20, 2008!

Check out the story on CNN.

There Is No Arizona

Yesterday, on the way home from work, A heard what he thought should be my theme song. When home, he played it for me on Youtube. Take a listen and then let me know if I SHOULD BE WORRIED?!?

And there was LIGHT

Meet At the Quarterback

Today's Vikings/Colts game marks one of those rare occasions when you like both teams that take the field. My family has always had a strange allegiance to the Vikings. A following that makes absolutely zero sense considering not one member hails from anywhere near Minnesota. As a teenager growing up in tiny Fairmount, Indiana, my dad and his best bud John took an interest in the Vikes during the era of the Purple People Eaters. A time where the motto of the Vikings defensive line was, "meet at the quarterback." Even after the excitement cooled, my dad and his friend still remained fans.

Most of my dad's family still lives in Indiana, slightly north of Indianapolis. While they still rank the Vikings first, they can't help but root for the home team. No matter if that home team has only been home since relocating from Baltimore in 1984. Who can blame them? (or me...I sure love my Peyton) Cheering more than one team isn't a problem for the most part. Unless they play each other, like today, and then you have to deal with your competing loyalties. So who wins out? The hometown heroes or the first adopted team? Really? COME ON!!! GO VIKINGS!!!!!

A Small Detail

It had to have been him because this story confirms a detail I noticed. The SUV that LW got into had a Yale sticker on the back of it. And this concludes Celebrity Saturday!!!!! Ha.

Celebrity Sighting

Totally saw Luke Wilson at Starbucks today----either that or someone who looks exactly like him. We went in about noon, he ordered right before us and was waiting for his drink. A didn't even notice him----- he said WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?!? Well, I said...at first I wasn't sure it was him and then once I thought it was, you were too far away to alert without being shamefully obvious. Once LW (ridiculously handsome b t w) exited, both baristas were in a stir. Don't you think it was him...no...could it have been? Really? You think so? I mean it looked just like him! Then I decided to chime in...are you guys talking about the guy that just left. I definitely think it was him. Another guy who had been sitting by the entrance of the store hopped up and said YEAH it was him. Funny thing was that while we were all in an uproar over whether it was or wasn't HIM...there was a tall blonde who just came out of the ladies room and stood waiting quietly for her drink. She heard us all speculating and as A and I left and walked to our car, we saw the same pretty blonde get in the car with LW. Now I kind of regret being worried about politeness and respecting his privacy. I'd like to think our interaction might have gone something like this:

I catch his attention and mouth, "Are you Luke Wilson?"

And then he would silently confirm.

Then I would smile and say, "COOL."

That would be it. No autograph, no picture, no hysteria. Just me confirming what I already thought. Maybe it would have been worth the risk?

Open House

Dust storm

Approximately 5:45 pm: A monster dust cloud barrels through the area and within minutes the mountains are completely indiscernible. See it devour Phoenix here.

My Sea-Side Properties In AZ: Let me shows you them

You know what's really annoying? Political chain letters. You know the ones: Obama is a Muslim and has actually trained terrorists. McCain has 9 houses, 8 of which he uses as drophouses for illegal aliens. Usually, you get these, read a few lines, roll your eyes and then hit delete as fast as you can. But every once in awhile, one catches you in a "mood." Usually this mood is boredom. So, you read it. And worse, you start thinking about it. And EVEN worse, you let it effect you so much that you decide to write a response. Not to any REAL person, but to your imaginary debating buddy--you know, the other half of yourself that you debate when no one's watching or listening. Well, this all happened to me today when K forwarded me this email she had received from an anonymous source:

"Friends, compatriots, fellow-lamenters,


We are writing to you because of the fury and dread we have felt since the announcement of Sarah Palin as the Vice-Presidential candidate for the Republican Party. We believe that this terrible decision has surpassed mere partisanship; that it is a dangerous farce on the part of a pandering and rudderless Presidential candidate and that nonetheless, it has a real possibility of becoming fact.

Perhaps like us, as American women, you share the fear of what Ms. Palin and her professed beliefs and proven record could lead to for ourselves and for our present or future daughters. To date, she is against sex education, birth control, the pro-choice platform, environmental protection, alternative energy development, freedom of speech (as mayor she wanted to ban books and attempted to fire the librarian who stood against her), gun control, the separation of church and state, and polar bears.

That says nothing about her unpreparedness to become the second-most-powerful person on the planet. We want to clarify that we are not against Sarah Palin as a woman, a mother, or, for that matter, a parent of a pregnant teenager, but solely as a rash, incompetent, and altogether devastating choice for Vice President. Ms. Palin's political views are a slap in the face to the accomplishments so fiercely fought for and from which we've so demonstrably benefited from.

Most important, Ms. Palin does not represent us. She neither expresses nor upholds our interests as American women. It is presumed that the inclusion of a woman on the Republican ticket could win over women voters. We disagree emphatically and publicly."

Here is my response (my debating buddy was TOTALLY blown away)

First, this letter is offensive because it attempts to categorize women into a single homogeneous unit. It attacks Palin because she is *gasp* a conservative woman. Because all REAL women are pro-choice, a pro-life woman is automatically a traitor and should be kicked from the flock. Instead of “Condi’s not my sister,” we have “Palin’s not my girlfriend.” Had McCain picked a male VP candidate with the exact same views (read: conservative), this letter would have never been written. This leads to the ultimate conclusion that Palin is being attacked not because she is conservative, but merely because she is a woman. The fact that the attack is made on behalf of a small group of self-appointed “womankind” delegates does not make it any less offensive. Indeed, you CAN put lipstick on a pig.

Second, much like the “Obama is a muslim” rumors, this letter attempts to spread lies and half-truths. And sadly, there’s no real need to point out the inconsistencies. Why? Because 1) the authors of the letter already know they’re spouting lies and half-truths and 2) the people who are ignorant enough to believe what they’re fed are not worth convincing anyway. However, since we’re already here, I might as well point out at least one inconsistency: Palin isn’t opposed to polar bears, she’s opposed to polar bear CUBS. Tell your neighbor.

AND NOW, FOR YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN:

Rank Up

Of all the things our new apartment has to offer, this just might be my favorite. Not that I am some kind of obsessive cleaner (though I do like a tidy place) but having my own washer and dryer sure makes life a little easier. No longer must I worry over quarters, brave the elements, compete to clean, or tote my laundry up and down several flights of stairs. Yes, I have joined the ranks of those who can claim in-house convenience------and I must say...I'm lovin' it.

Would Lolo eat at Lo-Lo's?

I hear all the time that "no one is from Arizona, they all just move here." Which at first I took to be slightly derogatory. As if Arizona, too barren or dull to generate life of its own, must rely on adventurers from other, more fertile, lands. As if the populace has no collective experience, just a mish-mash of individual ones.

But then I realized something today as I overheard a few people talking in the office about their favorite Phoenix restaurants. Maybe Phoenix IS just a mish-mash of individuals, but my-oh-my what they all bring to the table! As I eavesdropped on their conversations, I learned where to get the BEST Mexican ("Dick's Hideaway--literally HIDDEN down an alley with no sign and covered completely in ivy), the BEST hamburger ("Big Earl's" in Cave Creek, right off the exit), an--get this--the BEST chicken and waffles. That's right! A chicken-and-waffles joint in Phoenix, Arizona. Did I miss something, or does the Mason-Dixon line make an impromptu gerrymander through Arizona somewhere?

So, without further ado, I give you Lo-Lo's Chicken and Waffles: http://www.loloschickenandwaffles.com/

I'm pretty sure there's no relation to this guy:

Although, if anybody can make a scrumptious chicken-and-waffle platter, it's Lolo (that golden key opens the waffle batter treasure chest, but watch out for those flying eyeballs--swwwwuuussssssh!).

So this is basically a very long way of saying: maybe nobody is originally from Arizona, but maybe that's a blessing. Because when I can hold a drumstick in one hand and a waffle in another, screw collective experience.

Virga, Virga, Virga

Monday morning saw some ominous cloud-cover over Phoenix, and a repeated mention of something called "virga" in the atmosphere. Virga, according to peppy meteorologist Kaley O'Kelley, is rain that evaporates before it hits the ground. Maybe that was mostly the case throughout the city, but on our side of town the droplets hit. It was just enough to spoil A's plans to walk to the bus stop. As luck would have it, we left all our umbrellas in Ohio.

Fire On The Mountain

No, this is not Hades raining fire on the mountain (although it was hot enough). This is a sunset over the White Tank Mountains as seen from our modest patio. Would have been an even better picture without the powerlines, but I guess electricity is a necessity--how else would they power the fifty-billion Starbucks in the area?