Kitty Caucus

Slow news day? Latest News section on CNN reads, "iReport.com: cats vote in 'kitty caucus.'" WHAT? I had to click on it. Had to. Now, this is the type of headline you would expect to encounter on The Onion, but not CNN. Apparently, a gaggle of kitties will be "casting votes" or "pooping" until election day for their favorite candidate in respective blue and red litter boxes. Blue for Obama (of course) and Red for McCain. On November 4th the fecal matter will be tabulated, and whoever has the most poops wins. Are we sure that these kitties aren't actually registered voters? I mean, with all the recent accusations against ACORN...how can we be sure? And another thing...we may want to consider this process for our own election. It really would get to the heart of the current mood of the country, everything right now just plain stinks. The winner truly will be the one with the most shit to deal with.

Confirming My Paranoia

Just a few minutes ago Adam sent this story my way with subject, "I thought you should see this story." Now, considering my recent paranoia about mountain lion's eating my head when hiking in the Arizona desert you might wonder why a story confirming my worst fears would be a good idea. The report titled, "Mountain lion that stalked Ariz. hiker killed," told of a hiker who in spite of wielding a gun, man's best friend and boots with jeans no doubt (boots and jeans are my own conjuring) found himself the stalked prey of a vicious mountain lion. This case had authorities concerned, "U.S. Forest Service officials found the incident troubling because the lion showed no fear of humans. 'It was not acting in a way that normal mountain lions act,' Schewel said, adding that it was "an obvious threat to human safety." No fear of humans! Obviously this guy did not have the Incredible Gun-Wielding Snake-Distracting Duo of Berry and Son but with such a cantankerous kitty I doubt it would have mattered.

LOL... banana?

Huh? Right...the old slip on the banana peel bit gets me LOLing every time! But what really gets me ROTFL is this joke:

Knock, knock

Who's there?

Banana

Banana who?

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Banana

Banana who? (repeat to annoy)

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

ORANGE

Orange who?

ORANGE ya' glad I didn't say BANANA!!!!

Our First Scorpion

Friday, October 17th
A Message Home:

YO! or HOLA! or CIAO! or HI THERE! Hope you have had a good week. Saw our first scorpion last night. Luckily it was OUTSIDE. We were taking a short walk to check the mail and I noticed it on the sidewalk. Fairly good sized fellow. Which I suppose means less dangerous?!? Anyway...we scardy cats took the other side of the sidewalk when we walked back. Kind of freaked us both out. When we went on a "hike" last weekend there were signs posted that said CAUTION!!! SNAKES ARE OUT!!!! and then had a cartoon picture of a rattlesnake. Uhhh...Adam...I'm not too sure about this. Without the company of Austin the expert marksman and John the snake distracter I really don't feel all that safe in the desert. Adam said...well next time we can wear jeans. And bring a gun and wear boots---I said. So yeah...I don't think I am quite cut out for this rough landscape. I was also scared that a mountain lion would pounce on us at any moment and eat our heads. Advice? :-)

Response:

I would imagine that you were far more likely to fall down a set of slippery, frozen metal stairs to your death in an attempt to wash your underwear in Cleveland than you are likely to have your head eaten by a mountain lion. On the other hand, wear jeans and cover your toes when hiking in the desert. At the very least shorts with boots. We'll talk to you later.

Methinks it might have been this type.

Downtown

The lights are much brighter there

You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares

So go downtown, things'll be great when you're

Downtown - no finer place, for sure

Downtown - everything's waiting for you

Same, though new

Autumn in the desert

Fall without changing leaves

A brief chill in the heat

Scent of cinnamon, burning wood

Fragrance of season

Same, though new

iCovet

Some people are just jealous.

As Opposed to "Eastward Tramp"

The name above is a bit of a misnomer for today's activity. We didn't head west (we went east) and we didn't observe any hos (although I can't say that with 100% certainty). We did, however, go to the Phoenix Public Market downtown which was adjacent to this wonderfully named building. We'd heard about this place a couple of weeks ago, and it sounded pretty interesting. It was presented to us as a "farmer's market" where you could go and find some fruits, vegetables, herbs, etc. You know, farmer stuff.

I think it's safe to say we were a bit underwhelmed. The few stands that were selling fresh produce were easily outweighed by stands selling tea infused with catnip (not kidding) or scarves made of dog hair (kidding). We meandered for a little bit and then headed out to parts unknown.

It is absolutely gorgeous here today--75 and sunny with a lot of wind. It should be the same way tomorrow, so we're trying to formulate a plan involving outside activity. We'll let you know what we come up with.

As Tigger would say: "TTFN!"

40 Days

Finishing The Brothers Karamazov a couple weeks ago I needed a bit of levity...so true-to-form I decided to embark on a 40 day spiritual quest with The Purpose Driven Life. It arrived in a shipment of four banker's boxes, the remnants of our book collection sent expeditiously by Adam's mom a few weeks after we left for AZ. Think it must have been a present from Aunt Linda many Christmases ago. I know I meant to read it, but never did, and now find myself terribly behind the many who have. How many books end up this way? On our list of wanted to, meant to, started to...forgot about. Never too late to discover, "What on Earth am I here for?" Though I think I already know...which could be the reason that I never felt the urgent need to read it.

In the first few pages, you discover that Rick Warren---the author--- wants you to commit to reading a section everyday. Instead of speeding through, he wishes the reader to reflect on every chapter. All in all, a total of 40, adding up to a period of 40 days. Using 40 days, he mirrors a time frame that God also finds significant. Warren gives a few examples:

Noah's life was transformed by 40 days of rain.

Moses was transformed by 40 days on Mount Sinai

David was transformed by Goliath's 40-day challenge.

Elijah was transformed when God gave him 40 days of strength from a single meal

The entire city of Nineveh was transformed when God gave the people 40 days to change.

Jesus was empowered by 40 days in the wilderness.

The disciples were transformed by 40 days with Jesus after his resurrection.

I did not realize that this would be the format of the book. So far, I like this perspective. At the end of each brief chapter he gives, "A Point to Ponder, A Verse To Remember and A Question to Consider." Last night the quest began. Since so many have already read this book I kind of feel like Jim Gaffigan joking about wanting to talk about a movie that came out years ago:

"Hey! I just saw Heat!"

"What? I saw that movie 10 years ago."

"I wanna talk about it now."

"No! Get away from me weirdo!"

Because...I know I will probably want to talk about it.

Simple Math

We here at AZPHALT would like to point out an error. On Monday, September 29th we posted the contents of a forwarded email (first mistake) that suggested an alternative to the big AIG bailout. Apparently...the math was bogus! BOGUS I TELL YOU! According to our friendly, resident fact checker---Uncle Dave--- we can now rest easy. Take a look at the truth:

One of the articles posted on your blog said that US citizens should get the 85 billion instead of AIG, which would then give 200 million Americans $425,000 each. However, in the interest of accuracy, it must be noted that 85 billion divided by 200 million is only $425.00. Wishful thinking, but please note that one billion is (in the USA anyway) one thousand million, or 1,000,000,000, or 10 to the 9th power. Just thought I would pass this along. Actually it would take 85 trillion divided by 200 million to get $425,000.

Remember...if you see anything you would like to comment on or expose. Send it along. You know where to find us.

Lovebirds

Saw this in a clever shop in Sedona's Tlaquepaque. Adorned with stylized blue forget-me-nots, reddish berries, green leaves and vines----this metal mirror overflows sentiment. At the top sits my favorite detail, a pair of white lovebirds nesting. Maybe they need to make their way to my little nest. I have the perfect spot!

No Doubt

Great company, great food, great wine. Tonight Adam and I finished off the last little bit of an excellent bottle of Roogle Riesling that Nola and Kyle shared last Friday night. It made me do a bit of reminiscing. In Cleveland we had the privilege of having our friends about a block away and would switch off having each other over for dinner, lunch, breakfast...rain parties. Last Friday night, we made tacos. Chopped the garlic and lettuce, prepared the avocados, poured the salsa, cooked the meat, warmed the beans and rice. Kyle even freshly fried corn tortillas. Just like the good old days--- except we no longer live within walking distance. Funny how fast things change. As our friends left for La la land...we promised to see each other soon. No doubt.

Texas Nanner Puddin'

Well...well...well...Mur really outdid herself this time. Adam came home to a Chicken Pie and some Nanner Puddin'. Oh boy was it good. Though I believe he hasn't even tasted the dessert yet-----had to take a break after filling up on the main course. Now that's comfort food! Yum!

For MOI? Merci!

What LOVELY flowers...what THOUGHTFUL family and friends. THANKS EVERYONE! You certainly know how to make a girl smile. Adam, Kyle and Nola said they liked the chorus best...but I think they are a bit biased. Nola made sure to save a program for me...we threw it in the photo for posterity. Thanks UBER!

Nuts For Everyone

A friend sent this my way. I hear his platform is, "Nuts for everyone!" Haha. Funny thing is...the other guy is spouting the same thing. How embarrassing!

Der Herr ist gross

No...not GROSS! Like ewwwwwwwwwwwww. BUT GROSS...as in GREAT! Don't worry about the German this time, the chorus will be singing The Creation in English. Haydn preferred it this way for English-speaking audiences (makes sense). Tomorrow marks the first performance of the season. Visit the Phoenix Symphony for a short video preview.